Degree Show 2011

Hello all,


I'm really sorry it's been such a long time since my last blog post, I know how interesting that I am so I imagine you've all missed it... 


I have been lacking in blogs because I have been working too hard getting myself ready for the degree show! Well, there is only this week left to prepare and I'm nearly done, although I may not sleep much this week! 


Please accept my invitation to come to see my work at the University of Bedfordshire, Park Square Campus on Wednesday 8th June. I'm not sure what time yet but it will probably be around 6/7pm till 8/9pm, so it won't be a late one. That is unless you join me for the many drinks I plan to consume. 


I really hope as many people as possible can come along, most of you at some point or other during the last 3 years have been there for me so I'd really like to show off my work. Also, there is a free bar, but it's limited, so come early! 


After it's all over I promise to blog again with some photos!


Let me know if you're coming along. Thanx!!!

Relax and Enjoy

            N.B. Jeff, this is basically the conversation we just had, so I understand if you don’t read on…

My last couple of blogs have been a little bit stressed out, trying to make big decisions about the future and all, but you’ll be pleased to hear (I hope) that I am feeling much more relaxed at the moment. Having made the decision that I don’t want to do an MA and I’m not aiming to be a fine artist (at least not at the moment) I am now able to take some time before I start needing to apply for either a job or a graduate scheme of some kind. This time is needed at the moment, as I have to write 4000 words on the contexts that surround my work (a ‘rationale’ a.k.a. arts version of a dissertation).

4000 words are not that much to some people, but to me its freekin loads! It’s the only essay I write all year, and I have only written 2 other essays during my degree, one 2000 words, and the other 3000 words. So yeah, it’s a lot.

I find it so difficult to write essays. I find reading about art takes me a long time so actually doing enough research to start writing is difficult. And then once I start writing it takes a while for me to be able to articulate my thoughts in an intelligent way. I also don’t have brilliant grammar or spelling, so proof reading is always a joy! Add to that the fact that I am a professional procrastinator and realistically this essay takes me months.

Alongside writing my essay I am continuing to make lots of work. Like I said in my last blog, I am focusing on swans at the moment. Recently, I have been working on experimental paintings of swans (see one below), trying out different kinds of paints, techniques and surfaces. My final piece (which you will probably see in the degree show if you come along) is most likely going to involve either paintings or prints of swans on dividing screens. The point is to take inspiration from traditional Oriental styles but to give them an English countryside twist. I hope I’m not giving the game away too much, I may hold off on photos from now on so as not to ruin the surprise!

Despite my mounting workload, I am feeling quite relaxed, probably due to my recent calm outlook on the future. But I think I am so relaxed because I have reached a point in my practice where I have an aim for the outcome of my work and I am in a really fun stage of experimenting ways of painting and generally enjoying being an artist. So, my advice to my fellow art students at the moment is; relax and enjoy. 

I don't feel very passionate

            Don’t worry I am not about to burst into some weird confession about my love life. I am referring once again to my inability to make decisions. Although my last blog did help me eliminate a few options, I still don’t feel like I have a clear idea of what I want to do, as although I have looked into varying MA courses in subjects that interest me and looked over a few jobs and things, but nothing is really deeply stirring my interest. At least not enough for me to spend 2 years being poor followed by several years of debt over it.

            I’m not even feeling that passionate about writing this blog write now… but that may be because I am in my second home (263) with interesting people and interesting TV.

            I’ve noticed, due to the expression of extremist views all around me, that I don’t really have many extreme views – most things I can easily sit on the fence for. I don’t generally have much confidence in my own opinions, not because I think I’m stupid or anything, but because most of the time I think things can be looked at in so many different ways that my particular point of view could easily be wrong or misinformed or it could be seen from a different point of view.

            This makes me feel like a fairly passionless person, because there isn’t much that really makes me argue my point or fight for. However, one of the things that always moves me is working with young people. Maybe the answer lies here, as when I worked with young people I did feel really fulfilled and worthwhile. I am passionate about art and peoples power of expressing themselves and creating beauty. I have considered MA courses in Art Therapy, but I don’t really know if I’m really all that interested in the proper learning how to be a therapist part.

            The problem at the moment I think is that nothing is really jumping out at me and saying ‘do this!’, which has always been the case before. I knew I wanted to do a gap year. I knew I wanted to do an Art and Design degree and I knew exactly which one I wanted to do. But now I feel kind of a bit lost.

            I am also sick of hearing myself whinge at people about this, so I’ll shut up now and talk about something else. My work has moved onto the next step and I am developing it with more intention towards what will be my final piece for the degree show. Instead of working with crane birds, I have moved on to looking at swans. I felt it was important for me to be making work that was more personal to me and had more emotion behind it. In my hometown, there are lots of swans around the harbour and lakes and I have always thought that they are beautiful and elegant, and also quite cool because the Queen owns them. Anyway I’m not sure what this is going to look like, but I am trying to spend plenty of time in the studio experimenting with new ideas and methods. I’ll keep you posted, and maybe have some photos soon…

I hate making decisions

            Everyone wants me to make decisions. Where is my work going? Do I want to design patterns or paint pictures? Am I going to work on paper or wood or fabric? What do I want to do after uni? Am I going to do a masters? Am I going to get a job? Am I a fine artist or a designer? These are all questions I have been avoiding for the last 3 years and now they are all looming over me like a big scary thing that looms…

            Anyway, apparently my subtle ploys to try and get other people to make these decisions for me have not worked, and now I have to decide. I feel like any decision I make will change the course of the rest of my life and I am almost guaranteed to make the wrong one and yes, I do realise I am being slightly melodramatic.

            Perhaps, the therapeutic process of blogging will help me decide. Or perhaps, anyone reading this could give me some hints?

            The main thing I want to decide is between fine art and applied design. I just don’t know what I want. I would love to be a fine artist but that is such a pipe dream; it would be so expensive to do a masters and then after that I wouldn’t really have a job I’d just have to make work. And my work is ok but I don’t really think I’m ever going to be the kind of artist who sells work for thousands of pounds, and I am sick of being in places for short periods of time, I want to live somewhere and actually live there, not just live there for 6 months or a year and then move on.

            But then what about being some kind of designer? As you know I work a lot with pattern, and doing a masters in some kind of pattern or fabric design would be really interesting. And not only that but it would give me real marketable skills that could lead to a real job somewhere amazing like Liberties or Laura Ashley. And not only that but I believe in my own abilities in this area. I could perhaps apply for these things with confidence and determination, because there is a tangible outcome to aim for.

            Ok, I think this blogging thing may well have worked. I have clearly laid out my thinking and my priorities and there you have it. I am going to apply for a design type course. I don’t know what course yet, I need to research which one I want to do but I have an aim now.

            This also helps me make decisions regarding my artistic practice now. If I am going to apply for a design course I need to build up my portfolio with design work. I need to use the degree show to flaunt my skills. Good. I feel like I’m really getting somewhere.

            And, the good thing about being some sort of designer is that it doesn’t stop me being a painter. I can continue using painting in the ways that I love – expressing myself, enjoying the process without the pressure of it having to be ‘good art’, and also helping others express themselves.

            I am quite often melodramatic, but taking a step back and thinking about things clearly and carefully helps me realise that whatever decisions I do make now do matter, but do not really determine the whole rest of my life. Whatever I do over the next few year could change dramatically but it doesn’t determine how I will spend the rest of my life. Which takes the pressure off really. 

New Year, New You... kinda...

             Happy New Year everyone! And for those who I haven’t already told in a subtle bid for cards and presents, tomorrow is my 22^nd birthday! Winter is so full of lovely things like Christmas and snow and, most importantly, my birthday, it is my favourite time of year. However, with it being the New Year, it is also a time I spend trying to evaluate and improve on the previous year.

            After a lovely two weeks at home in beautiful Cumbria, chilling out with my family and friends and eating my weight in cheese and biscuits, I have come back to the reality of Luton early and managed to get a head start on some work. I had an assignment due for the start of term on Monday, which I have just finished and now I am beginning to plan what the next phase of my work will be.

            In terms of my life as an artist, I feel that last year I came really far in grounding my practice and properly thinking out what I want to be producing. However, I feel like that has been mostly thought, and the reality of what I want to create has yet to be realised. Unfortunately with the degree show just around the corner and life after uni terrifyingly looming over me, I need this to be realised soon.

            Last term I think I was doing really well at getting lots of work done and I think my tutors were pretty happy with the work I was doing. However, continuing the New Years theme, I will make a little resolution (alongside my new diet and exercise routine); I promise to go into the studio as much as possible, to fight through the inspiration blocks, and to produce work I can be proud of so that I can invite you all to the degree show. I am also aiming to have something to do when I finish my course, whether that will be a masters, a residency or even an actual job. So, here’s to 2011! I hope it will be a success. 

Sat in a Service Station

      So I really didn't think I'd end up blogging at all in December as there are so many other things to do. But seen as I am stuck in a service station waiting for the AA to come rescue me, I guess I can update you!
     I have had a really busy last few weeks of term, as I finally managed to sort myself out and start doing screen printing. Screen printing is a fairly simple process once you get the hang of it, and the actually printing of the work is very quick, however it takes a lot of preparation. Below is a photo of my silk-screen, which has been prepared with light sensitive emulsion and then my image has been exposed in a light box in order allow the ink to pass through where the image is.
     You may be able to tell from the photo that I am still working on a bird pattern. Since I took this photo I have completed most of my prints. It works by layering up different sections of colour and shape.
     The print-technician is only in Mondays, Fridays and alternate Thursdays, so I have been spending other days in the studio working on research, my journal, and other aspects of my work. I have been trying out a few ink blot paintings based on my bird shapes, which has been loads of fun. As an artist I am generally a control freak so painting with ink and water and printing it in this way is really interesting as I have very little control over what the ink does.
     Anyway, it is the Christmas holidays now. I have an assignment to hand in at the start of term so I need to get working on that, but other than that I don't plan on doing much art work. When I (eventually) get back to Cumbria I want to get lots of lovely pictures of wildlife in the snow and lovely landscapes.
     AA man should be here soon, fingers crossed!
     MERRY CHRISTMAS!

x

Distracted by fairy lights and glitter

            Tomorrow the run up to Christmas (otherwise know as advent) actually begins, which probably means I will be getting very little done as I am easily distracted by fairy lights and glitter.

            I was having lunch with one of my sisters the other day when she asked an interesting question; she asked me if all this creativity is exhausting. She wondered how someone could get up in the morning and everyday be able to continually be creative. Being more of an academic than me (although still very creative in many ways) she wondered if it was sometimes a struggle to be in the studio all the time and to come up with new ideas.

            The obvious answer is that yes, it is exhausting sometimes. As anyone in any kind of creative role knows, some days you have complete mental blocks and cannot create anything at all. You try and you try but anything you make or write or plan when you have these blocks simply belongs in the bin.

            I have been going through a bit of a block at the moment. These blocks can be caused by a multitude of things. Sometimes you simply are exhausted; you could be ill or have been working too hard or just be really busy. Sometimes there are things going on in other parts of your life that distract you and render you unable to function. Sometimes you have hit a turning point or a decision needs to be made on a project and you cant decide what to do or where to go next. Sometimes you just get stuck.

            The blocks that I have are never helped by my outstanding skill to procrastinate. During the block I have been going through recently I have found that I am doing much or cooking, my house has never been cleaner, I am doing plenty of extra hours at work, including unpaid ones where I helped put up all their Christmas decorations, I have caught up on TV and movies I have been meaning to watch and I have caught up with lots of friends and other bits and bobs. I like to think to myself that these ‘blocked’ times are productive in other ways, so its ok, but realistically I need to be making images.

            In our first year (and even sometimes in the second) people would claim lack of inspiration as a reason for not having produced very much work. But, as one of our tutors wisely pointed out, inspiration does not come and find you; you must go out and seek it. This is perhaps the best way to break through a block. As I said, the work you can make during a mental block may not be your best, and a lot of it may well end up in the bin, but if you continue to push and experiment and keep on slogging through, sometimes the block can lead to a fantastic new idea that you wouldn’t have tried otherwise.

            So, in answer to my sister’s question, there are days when I sit in the studio and stare at a blank page and wonder if I am fooling myself that I am an artist at all, but I have to keep going! The project I am working on at the moment would not be happening if I hadn’t tried to fight through a block, and I will keep trying and hopefully you will all be filled with awe and wonder at the result! J