Ssshhhhh I am going to tell you a secret…

I am a fraud. I have been lying all along. Please don’t judge me for my lie, I only just truly became aware of it. I am not, actually, an artist. Sure the title of this blog says I am, but based on the last few days I don’t think it can be true.

            I am was happily working away trying to develop an idea I had, and then I chatted about it with my tutor and he showed me that it just wasn’t pushing myself hard enough or thinking like an artist. Don’t get me wrong, I am not mad at my tutor, it’s his job to push me, but its freaking frustrating! He just looked at the pieces I had been working on all day and (not literally) tore them apart. He came up with about 10 fresh ideas for me to try in less than a minute and made me feel entirely inadequate.

            I am not asking for sympathy. I want the brutal honesty; how can anyone grow and develop without it?

            But I do feel like a fraud; I don’t sit in corners of coffee shops sketching away or have deep meaningful conversations with other mysterious artists. To be honest I am trying to type quickly so I can go get ready for a night out. How can I then, be a real artist? I don’t know the answer; I am relying on you, my much smarter than me friends, to give me a clue… 

Exhibitions and Inspirations

Sorry about the recent radio silence, I have had a weird few weeks, and I am still finding this blogging thing quite daunting. But I am back again to update you all on my goings on.

Trying not to delve too far into the past, but over a week ago now I went to Frieze Art Fair in Regents Park. For those of you who have never been, it is a very exciting and exhausting place to be. Based in one huge (and I mean huge!) tent, it is filled with exhibiting galleries from all over the world and it took me and a few others from my class a good few hours to rush around it to see as much as we could. I took photos of over 150 artists work (and didn’t take photos of God knows how many others) and when I got home I was amazed to see how much of the work I found inspiring, moving or even just quite fun. The main thing that hit me was how there was so much work but no two pieces were the same – people are so creative!

I don’t want to bore you with all the 150 artists I found, but how about one highlight? An American artist called Rob Pruitt had two of his pieces displayed;

‘The Flirtation’ (above) and ‘Mona Lisa' (below), both made from acrylic, enamel paint and flocking on canvas.

            These very large paintings by Pruitt almost glowed due to their bright colour and size, and had a really strong presence even when surrounded by so much other work. Pruitt shows real skill in showing emotion by only using 3 signs (the eyes and mouth). He is even able to replicate the enigmatic smile of the Mona Lisa.

From what I can find in a brief internet search, these paintings are quite different to Pruitt’s other works, but his work is dynamic and exciting, so if you get a moment Google him.

In more recent history, yesterday I went to the best exhibition I’ve been to in ages! If you haven’t seen my work before, you won’t know that it involves a lot of work around pattern and repeats. Because of this, it is hard to avoid a connection between my work and that of William Morris. Not that I am anywhere near up to his talent and skill, but I do find his work inspiring. So, when my printing tutor, Richard, told me about an exhibition at the William Morris Gallery in Walthamstow called ‘Inspired by Morris’, I had to go. Especially as Richard has some of his own work exhibited within it.

London based artists were asked to study the work and life of William Morris, and then make work as a reaction to that. Most of the exhibition was in one room, but there were some pieces integrated with the rest of the gallery and interspersed with Morris’ own work. The artists had created all sorts of different pieces, including screen-printing, drawing, painting, calligraphy, sculpture, stained glass, video installation, embroidery and much more. Like at Frieze, I was struck by the variety and creativity of artists, even when they are working from the same source.

The exhibition is running until the 24^th December, and I would highly recommend going to see it if you get the chance. The question in my mind was; would my work, one day, fit in amongst an exhibition like this? 

A self-conscious artist

What is a blog? Wikipedia (the answer to everything) says; ‘A blog (a blend of the term web log)[1] is a type of website or part of a website. Blogs are usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.’

My blog intends to be a diary of my life as an artist. For my course I have to keep a journal and analyse my work, my research and other artists work, so I have decided to write this as a blog. I want to include pictures of my work and things that inspire me, and I want people to comment; feedback is my new best friend so tell me what you think! I have read other artist’s blogs and they are quite interesting really (they are all much better writers than me). I haven’t written anything properly since A-Level English Literature, so I apologise if this is dull or unimaginative. If anyone has hints and tips or other blogs to recommend I would really appreciate that. And also I ask for your patience – keep reading and I might get better!

So where am I right now? Physically I am in the studio, emotionally I am all over the place, but as an artist I am on the cusp of something very exciting – my third and final year at university. This year everything is gearing up for the degree show, which is daunting and exciting and exhilarating and terrifying. After my grades came through at the end of last term I was honestly a little disappointed, and so I felt unprepared and unmotivated to begin the big push toward the final show, but after some self-evaluation I can see that my body of work has not yet reached its potential. My first tutorial with Rebecca showed me how the different areas of my practice need to have coherence. I need to build up my work over this first term to join together the different aspects of my work so that by the time I begin making work for the degree show I have found some sort of identity as an artist. Rebecca seemed very excited about my work having the possibility of becoming something very unique and personal.

            But how do I give my work coherence? How can I join up the painter in me with the designer? The coalition between the two possibly lies in screen-printing. I need to combine the physical aspects of hands on work with the idea of repetition – creating motifs by hand and repeating them mechanically. I want to layer up work with different elements of pattern and painting.

            What I need to remember is, I am still creating a picture – I am not necessarily being decorative – my work needs to refer to other things and become an image in itself not just a pattern to be applied.

            So watch this space! I am going to start making work and posting it here and visiting galleries and asking questions and seeking answers. Here goes…